Acclaimed trial lawyer Gerry Spence is best known for representing Randy Weaver, Imelda Marcos, and so many others.
He began his career in 1952 and has never lost a criminal case before a jury as a prosecutor or defense attorney. Spence didn’t lose a civil case between 1969 and 2010 either. He’s still active today. In his book “How to Argue and Win Every Time" he lays out numerous ways to win by running our mouths inside and outside the courtroom.
He begins with honestly.
“Throughout our lives, we must all face our juries–- our fellow workers, our bosses, our spouses, our children,” wrote Spence. “We all have cases we must win. But fancy words and gilded phrases usually don't prevail. Always the argument is more in the person than in the words, more in being credible than in appearing credible.
He argues that we often don’t say what we mean. We claim to care when we don’t. We say when we’re a believer when it's convenient.
This is something I struggle with. And I see it everywhere. Passive aggressive parry and joust in so many parts of our lives.
Spence argues that all of this covert effort isn't worth it if we want to win. He says it's ineffective.
”When we tell the truth factually and emotionally,” he continues, “all the elements of communication, physical and verbal, automatically come together. The successful argument unfolds when we have regained the ability to reveal ourselves, to expose our feelings, and simply ask for what we want”
In the end, we must undress our psyches and stand naked before those to whom we make our arguments
What do you think? How do you win arguments?
Tell me in the comments at jamesbrowntv.substack.com or email me at Jamesbrowntv@gmail.com. You can also leave me a message at 585-484-0339. And if you like what I’m doing, share it with a friend.
On that note, I'm James Brown, and as always be well.
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